I can hardly believe that Christmas is just a week away! How crazy is that? I don't think it has sunk in with me yet. I haven't even taken the kiddos to see Santa. What kind of mother am I? Well, okay, so the kind that has been doing things on her own for the past couple of months!
I am so thankful for so many things though as I think about the holidays and spending time with those I love. I am thankful that God blessed me with such a beautiful family. Ross is my sweet boy. So sensitive to others' feelings. So intelligent. Reese is my drama girl. She is so creative and so full of life and excitement especially around this time of year. She is a lot like Bart's grandmother that passed away a few years ago. She literally lights up this time of year, just like Nani did. Reid is my mischievous 100% boy that loves to laugh. My cup overflows each day that I am blessed to spend with all of them. I am also glad to have gotten the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends this year. Facebook rocks for just that purpose! I forgot about all the friends I had in the past! I am also missing my best friends terribly and this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. For those that are new to my world, my best friends are from Ireland, here on work visa so they get moved around a lot. They are currently in the San Francisco area and have been for a few years now. Their oldest son, Iosaf is my godson. I haven't seen him since his baby brother was born in March of '07!! It has just gotten harder and harder for me to fly out there. Hopefully soon! In the meantime, I am meeting some new friends! I am so thankful for finally having peace about a church home and to be surrounded by such a good group of gals!
The downside of this time of year is, of course, missing my dad. I get a little sad at the fact that he never got to see Reid. He really didn't know Reese and Ross doesn't remember him much other than what I tell him. I feel like a piece of my heart died with him a few years ago. It has taken me a while to feel comfortable with letting anyone in but I figured its time to work on that. So, my goal this holiday season is to literally Live, Laugh and Love. Live in the moments that God is giving me. Laugh with my kids and Love like I have never lost anyone. After all, I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for all of those handprints on my life. Buying a real Christmas tree was my first step this year. I haven't had one in so many years. It just smelled like Christmas again. I forgot what that was like. Sometimes it does hurt to open your heart up again after a while. We just have to take the leap of faith and know that when our hearts break and when we start to fall, God is there waiting to hold us for a while until we feel like we are ready to try again. Before Mercy Me had a big record label, their first album had a song on it called "Sit with You". Yes, I know, this is going to hurt my rocker chick reputation but I do have a soft side. I felt like posting the lyrics because this is what's on my heart tonight. Sometimes, we just need to sit with Jesus. Let him hold us in his arms as if we were children again. I'm thankful this holiday season that even though both my earthly fathers are no longer here, I have a heavenly Father who is always ready and willing to listen to me, to sit with me and to hold me just a while longer.
When I can not feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel
Hidden in You
Lord you are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I
Am hidden in You
Cause If I could just sit with You awhile
You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though I'm wounded though I've died
If I could just sit with You awhile
I'd need You to hold me
Moment by moment 'til forever passes by
When I can not feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel
Hidden in You
Lord You are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I
Am hidden in You
If I could just sit with You awhile
If You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though i'm wounded though i've died
If I could just sit with You awhile
I'd need You to hold me
Moment by moment 'til forever passes by
I am so thankful for so many things though as I think about the holidays and spending time with those I love. I am thankful that God blessed me with such a beautiful family. Ross is my sweet boy. So sensitive to others' feelings. So intelligent. Reese is my drama girl. She is so creative and so full of life and excitement especially around this time of year. She is a lot like Bart's grandmother that passed away a few years ago. She literally lights up this time of year, just like Nani did. Reid is my mischievous 100% boy that loves to laugh. My cup overflows each day that I am blessed to spend with all of them. I am also glad to have gotten the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends this year. Facebook rocks for just that purpose! I forgot about all the friends I had in the past! I am also missing my best friends terribly and this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. For those that are new to my world, my best friends are from Ireland, here on work visa so they get moved around a lot. They are currently in the San Francisco area and have been for a few years now. Their oldest son, Iosaf is my godson. I haven't seen him since his baby brother was born in March of '07!! It has just gotten harder and harder for me to fly out there. Hopefully soon! In the meantime, I am meeting some new friends! I am so thankful for finally having peace about a church home and to be surrounded by such a good group of gals!
The downside of this time of year is, of course, missing my dad. I get a little sad at the fact that he never got to see Reid. He really didn't know Reese and Ross doesn't remember him much other than what I tell him. I feel like a piece of my heart died with him a few years ago. It has taken me a while to feel comfortable with letting anyone in but I figured its time to work on that. So, my goal this holiday season is to literally Live, Laugh and Love. Live in the moments that God is giving me. Laugh with my kids and Love like I have never lost anyone. After all, I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for all of those handprints on my life. Buying a real Christmas tree was my first step this year. I haven't had one in so many years. It just smelled like Christmas again. I forgot what that was like. Sometimes it does hurt to open your heart up again after a while. We just have to take the leap of faith and know that when our hearts break and when we start to fall, God is there waiting to hold us for a while until we feel like we are ready to try again. Before Mercy Me had a big record label, their first album had a song on it called "Sit with You". Yes, I know, this is going to hurt my rocker chick reputation but I do have a soft side. I felt like posting the lyrics because this is what's on my heart tonight. Sometimes, we just need to sit with Jesus. Let him hold us in his arms as if we were children again. I'm thankful this holiday season that even though both my earthly fathers are no longer here, I have a heavenly Father who is always ready and willing to listen to me, to sit with me and to hold me just a while longer.
When I can not feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel
Hidden in You
Lord you are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I
Am hidden in You
Cause If I could just sit with You awhile
You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though I'm wounded though I've died
If I could just sit with You awhile
I'd need You to hold me
Moment by moment 'til forever passes by
When I can not feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel
Hidden in You
Lord You are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I
Am hidden in You
If I could just sit with You awhile
If You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though i'm wounded though i've died
If I could just sit with You awhile
I'd need You to hold me
Moment by moment 'til forever passes by
there is an old hymn that I love, "Till The Storm Passes Over" and the words go along with this song that you have by Mercy Me. The words touch that part of your heart when you feel you need that feeling of being drawn closer and protected from the storms that are in your life.
ReplyDelete" till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more, till the clouds roll forever from the sky, hold me fast let me stand in the hallow of thy hand, keep me safe, till the storm passes by"
Mom