Things NOT to do while in a cast

Over the last few weeks, I have learned what can and cannot be done in a cast. So, if you ever find yourself in a cast, here are a few things NOT to do.

• Don't insist on going down a long flight of stairs. You will fall. You just will. It's Newton's law.


• Don't try to care for three kids and a house on your own. Just accept that it will become a dump before you are recovered.


• Don't take showers. Just live in filth until the blessed day comes for cast removal.


• Don't think that your arms can automatically handle three weeks of crutches. You will plead for mercy at the end of day one.


• Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt the zoo. You're poor petite friend will be left with the job of pushing you UP hill in a wheelchair.


• Don't get excited about the motorized carts at Wal-Mart. They will start to get old when you are stuck like Austin Powers.


• Don't try to mow the grass. You will inevitably run out of gas and be stranded waiting for someone to bring you your glorious knee scooter.


• Don't try to dress up. Nothing you can do will glamorize fiberglass.


• Don't bother planning a Sunday School lesson, because all the kids will be too fascinated by the cast and apparently in awe that you hurt yourself.

And finally the number one thing to NOT do while casted:

Refuse to ask for help!! Thanks to Bart and Mom for trying to make my life somewhat easier the last few weeks!