Easter!

What a crazy week this has been! I received cast number 2 ON my birthday on Tuesday. Had an MRI on Wednesday to see what's taking my foot so long to heal and found out on Friday that I have to have surgery next week!! One wrong step on a volleyball court cost me a ruptured ligament, a dislocated joint and a fracture! Whew! So next Wednesday, I will go in to have screws put in my foot. I secretly admit I always did want to baffle the officers at the metal detectors. I will start ministering at the Dallas Juvenile Detention Center this month so here's my chance! I am just not looking forward to having my foot up for several more weeks, several more casts, lots more pain and back into the OR to have the screws removed after all of that! I guess I better just start accepting a chaotic house for a while. Thank God for mothers!

Even though I still can't get around well, I did want to make sure the kids decorated their eggs to take to Nanny Vest's tomorrow to hunt. I was gathering things for my Sunday School lesson anyways and making cookies so I tried to knock it all out so I only had to be "up" once. I am in awe at what my kids listen to and think about. I love to listen in on their conversations when they aren't fighting and especially when they think noone is around. I always loved Easter growing up. Well, once my step-dad came into the picture anyways. I love the spirit of Christmas, but Easter I loved even more. The spring colors, the dresses, the warm weather and the grace and mercy that surpasses all. When my dad would preach about the crucifixion and resurrection it would bring tears to your eyes. He had his doctorate in Theology and was always ALWAYS studying. Before beginning his sermon he would always say he doesn't like to sugar coat the crucifixion. He felt that often it wasn't portrayed how it really was and that even he could never come close to describing the inhumane torture that happened to our savior that day. But, nevertheless, he would tell it so distinctly that you felt you were there. You grieved as he described the skin hanging from His body having been beaten so badly, and you rejoiced as you listened to the part of the stone being rolled away. I'm thinking of him and the story tonight as I try not to get down about my foot. I bet he would say, "It may seem like Friday night, but Sunday's on the way." I miss him terribly this Easter season.

Sometimes I don't know how much my kids actually listen and when I was filling their egg color cups up with vinegar tonight, Reese commented on how yucky it smelled. Ross told her, "you know, they gave vinegar to Jesus when He was on the cross." I smiled as I kept pouring and Ross continued to tell her the story. It doesn't matter how many times I tell it, they seem to listen more intently when it's Ross telling it. I don't care who tells it, as long as it gets told. The birth of Jesus is a beautiful season but the death and resurrection of Him is worth so much rejoicing! I am saddened that it is not praised as much as Christmas as I think about it tonight. I hope all my blogger friends have a beautiful Easter Sunday with your families. I am missing the family that is already gone but also rejoicing with the ones I still have here to hold!

Things NOT to do while in a cast

Over the last few weeks, I have learned what can and cannot be done in a cast. So, if you ever find yourself in a cast, here are a few things NOT to do.

• Don't insist on going down a long flight of stairs. You will fall. You just will. It's Newton's law.


• Don't try to care for three kids and a house on your own. Just accept that it will become a dump before you are recovered.


• Don't take showers. Just live in filth until the blessed day comes for cast removal.


• Don't think that your arms can automatically handle three weeks of crutches. You will plead for mercy at the end of day one.


• Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt the zoo. You're poor petite friend will be left with the job of pushing you UP hill in a wheelchair.


• Don't get excited about the motorized carts at Wal-Mart. They will start to get old when you are stuck like Austin Powers.


• Don't try to mow the grass. You will inevitably run out of gas and be stranded waiting for someone to bring you your glorious knee scooter.


• Don't try to dress up. Nothing you can do will glamorize fiberglass.


• Don't bother planning a Sunday School lesson, because all the kids will be too fascinated by the cast and apparently in awe that you hurt yourself.

And finally the number one thing to NOT do while casted:

Refuse to ask for help!! Thanks to Bart and Mom for trying to make my life somewhat easier the last few weeks!

Forged

What a year this has been for me and my family. I have alot on my mind tonight and am a little pensive as I lay in bed. The Biggest Loser on TV and Reid asleep by my side. I watch him sleeping and wonder what lies ahead for my kids. What kind of mother I have been and how handling what comes my way reflects on that. I have been through a lot in my lifetime. I don't like to bring it up much because things are easily used as a crutch. I feel I am better than that and refuse to let things define who I am. But I am also learning that you can't escape some of those definitions. I also know that you can take those same harmful past experiences and grow from them. This year has been a forging of sorts. A spiritual roller coaster. Emotions ranging from pain to anger. Back to pain and feeling you've beaten the odds. Then some things tend to happen and you begin to feel like you will never make it to the top to see the horizon before you. Honestly, I've been quite angry with God this year. How healing it is to finally say that. Maybe I should've said it sooner. I've told many people that I think God wants to hear us say this. He knows our hearts anyways. Anger is a passionate emotion. It also means we care.

Tonight I feel beat down and I ask for prayers. I want to be close to God and I want to know that when bad things happen, He longs to comfort us. This forging is more than I can bear sometimes. The only drive I have is knowing I have to keep moving forward through it for my family. I can't give up. I can't let the bad win. I just have to ask, how much can one person be expected to bear? I feel the weight so heavy on my shoulders. I just want to set it down. I led a group therapy this week for class. It was on self-forgiveness. I used Max Lucado's book "Traveling Light" as an example. Carrying the burdens we were never meant to bear. The burden of shame and guilt. Fear and hurt.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. Some know the difficulty it brings but many don't. God knows and I just ask that He shows his presence for me tomorrow and as an anniversary grows near. I'm not sure how much more I can carry. I have to have faith that He will never give me more than I can bear. I know that I will not get burned in the forging process, but rather shaped and molded.

Here's my song for the week. The Almost again. I find healing in music. I find strength in the lyrics. It's called No I Don't.

I'm looking for some stable ground/ Some kinda place to lay it down/ And settle for a while/ I'm sick of looking for a star/ I won't show anyone my scars/ Can you help me out?/ I wanna see a change in me

When it's time for another round/ I get in then, I bow out/ I'm kinda freaky that way/ I used to stand as tall as I could/ I used to be better than good/ I guess I've made my bed/ I wanna see a change in me

No, I don't listen when they tell me/ They think I won't Come back around/ Find my way out/ It's none of their business! It's none of their business!

I've got another song in me/ Because of you, I'm changing/ I'm learning how to wait/ Ugly as I could've been/ Down and out and all broken/ You never made me wait/ You saw me/ You didn't see my shame/ I'm free because you said so/ And I'm learning to grow/ Because you held my hand/ I'm free because you said/ Go, keep walking

Overnight Transformation

I'm going to skip the Debbie Downer blog for later because it was a long day to experience again. Basically, car breaks down, miss class and landed in the Urgent Care center for a broken foot. On to better things.



What happened to my eldest child this week? Just a few weeks ago, I was talking to some moms about Ross not having any interest in girls yet. He could've cared less. He was more worried about Halo and sports and inventions. Then, she showed up one day in conversation. A little girl that Ross has been in class with since Kindegarten. Ross made a comment in passing that she might like him. I said, "oh...do you like her??" He shrugged his shoulders and went on. I knew the day was coming. And I guess I hoped she would be a first girlfriend for him. Cutest thing ever. Best girl athlete we have. Super smart. Perfect, right? Yeah, in about 5 more years!! A couple of days later it happened. "Mom, can you ask Bridget's mom if she can go to the movies with me/us this weekend?" Ok. OK. I can handle this. I really can. Luckily, I know her mom. That helps. We email back and forth laughing about the situation. Ha ha. HA. She comes and watches Ross play basketball Friday night AND Saturday morning. They go to Dairy Queen Friday night. Insisting they sit by themselves. My mind is a whirlwind. I can't keep up with it. My baby. MY baby. I was glad that her mom decided to go to the movies as well and we brought the younger siblings sans Reid. No way would I go there. Ross and Bridget sit alone while we sit close by. He was so handsome. So courteous. I watched them thinking both have grown up so fast. I remember them playing t-ball together....then kindergarten. Now between kids and teens, unsure of where they fit in. He is already texting her today. I think I lost my place. It is a bittersweet sting. I guess it's inevitable. I remember 4th grade all to well. The boys that liked me were jerks. Well, other than Bart, but then again, he was too shy to tell me. Glad he grew out of that!! I'm glad Ross already has good taste at his young age. And I know there will be many others. It was just like an overnight transformation. One day it was Halo and the next it was deodorant and Axe. Enjoy your childhood my love. I won't let you out of it that easily. What kind of mom would I be?

March Madness

I just realized today is the first of March. Well, I guess I didn't literally realize it. I knew it was coming but forgot that it started TODAY! I will be glad when it's over. I know. 30 more days to go, right? Okay, here we go since I've been in a list making mood lately. Top Ten reasons I will be glad when March comes to an end: (drumroll please)

10. One month closer to the end of this stressful semester!
9. My baby will be celebrating his 4th birthday on April 5th!!
8. I, however, turn 34 during the month of March. Bleh.
7. April marks the official beginning of baseball!! I heart Josh Hamilton if you didn't know.
6. SPRING!!
5. Which means we are closer to SUMMER!!
4. Garden planting.
3. Shorts wearing.
2. I will have my biggest assignment behind me!

And the number one reason why March should hurry? Well, that blog will be later this week but I buried my dad 20 years ago this week. Time sure has flown by but that gentle reminder is always there.

So, March, there you have it. I know I can't skip you every year and I'm definitely not one to wish for time to "hurry". It's just that twenty years is a long time. A big number. I would rather move past it and enjoy the spring as soon as possible.

Oh and Ross and I went to our first dance! Professional pictures coming soon! If I had a picture of my dad on my laptop, it would look like Ross. :)

Saturday Smiles

Things that made me smile today:

• Noticing more freckles on Reid's nose.




• Giving my sister a heart attack by making her believe I had my niece's lip pierced. (Totally priceless!!)




• Having a "play off" on Guitar Hero at Main Event. (Okay...so several)




• Singing lyrics with Cheyenne at the top of our lungs while simultaneously playing air drums. (Anberlin of course)

• Reese falling asleep before my hair was completely white.

• Knowing that tomorrow is Sunday and my sweetie will actually be home to have a good family church day.

Another great season!

Another basketball season comes to an end. My Tigers got 2nd place again and I'm very proud of all the boys. I am looking forward to a week or two of some kind of a break, whatever that is! We also had all of the boys over for a sleep over Saturday night plus a couple extra to celebrate a belated birthday for Ross. Pictures coming soon. Note to self: Do not have 12 boys over to spend the night again. Ever. I am still exhausted.

So for now, I'm a little sad to say goodbye to basketball. These are great boys, even if they were up until 7am and trashed the house like a frat party! I've enjoyed having the privilege of coaching them another year.